Aaron

[alcuin]

When Alcuin had gotten a second phone, aware now that Hannibal was using his to track his location, he'd given Aaron the number. And it was on that one that Aaron had texted him to check in on him, and suggested he come to tea.

Alcuin left his other phone in his room at the brothel, and quietly slipped out one evening, and went to the chapel. He felt anxious, still. Guilty. But he did feel better than the last time he'd been here.

Comments

[quitollis]

Did Aaron hear something in Alcuin's voice, or was that just wishful thinking? And why did he still wish it? That feeling... was quite stubborn.

"You too," he said. More than a possessive manipulator. "Fun, but also... a good life."

[alcuin]

Aaron did hear something in Alcuin's voice.

He wasn't really sure what to say. So he only nodded, and took another pastry.

[quitollis]

"We talk a lot too," Aaron said to avoid the uncomfortable silence. "About you, quite often, actually."

[alcuin]

"About me?" Alcuin repeated, uncomfortably. "Well. I'm sure you had a lot to say, I'm glad you had someone to talk to."

[quitollis]

Aaron chuckled. "Yeah, that was good, probably. Couldn't very well confess to my Bishop."

"But it helped to see things from a different angle."

[alcuin]

"I do um... really hope though that he won't say anything to Hannibal," Alcuin said awkwardly. "I mean, depending on what you've told him."

[quitollis]

"Well, I hope do too. I don't think I would have told him much if I'd known he knew Hannibal," Aaron admitted. "Though, it's mostly that I care for you. He knows that, I suppose. He did send you to me for that purpose."

[alcuin]

"That's what you've been talking to Kersen about?" Alcuin said. "Your feelings for me?"

[quitollis]

"Yes..." Aaron admitted. "Was that wrong of me?" He asked, suddenly unclear if he'd betrayed Alcuin somehow.

[alcuin]

“No,” Alcuin said quickly. “No, it’s fine, I just realize that I don’t know how you feel.” Pause. “Not that you have to share.”

[quitollis]

"I thought you read minds..." Aaron said, realising he didn't know how mind-reading worked.

[alcuin]

“I can hear your thoughts,” Alcuin said. Pause. “And your thoughts aren’t always… very direct, ok this topic. Besides.” His expression softened. “I’m making an effort not to pry.”

[quitollis]

Aaron smiled a bit. The effort was appreciated. He returned it with honesty.

"I... care for you. A lot. More than I should. And you're right to say I barely know you but... well, that wasn't changed what I feel."

[alcuin]

"I care for you, too," Alcuin confessed quietly. "Ah... Hannibal rightly deduced that I had a... soft spot for you, early on. He seemed to find it amusing."

[quitollis]

"I'm sure," Aaron had to concede. "In another life I might have... asked you out," Aaron admitted then.

[alcuin]

"In another life I'd have said yes," Alcuin said, looking down. In another life where he hadn't treated Aaron so horribly.

[quitollis]

Aaron nodded, understanding that Alcuin didn't want to risk his relationship with Lecter. "I would never try to stand between you and Lecter."

[alcuin]

Alcuin honestly wasn't even thinking about that part... "I don't think you have to," he said. "I seem to be doing a fine job standing in my own way."

[quitollis]

"How so?" Aaron asked, somewhat confused at what he meant.

[alcuin]

"Oh, I just mean... I don't think you need to worry about messing up my relationship with Hannibal, I'm messing it up well enough myself."

[quitollis]

"You're not messing it up by finding your own life," Aaron said. That shouldn't be the case, though, but Hannibal was very influential on Alcuin's life.

[alcuin]

Alcuin hesitated, and then then asked, "What do you think I should do?"

[quitollis]

"Distance yourself," Aaron said honestly. "Find out what life is without him. But... I'm biased."

[alcuin]

"I think I'm already distancing myself... a bit," Alcuin said. "Finding a new job. But beyond that, stepping away entirely would be blowing up my whole life - I wouldn't even have a place to live."

He looked down again. "And I have a lot of trouble imagining life without him."

[quitollis]

Aaron did see the parallels here. He did realize it was hypocritical to tell Alcuin to distance himself, when he himself could not distance himself from the Church, while that, perhaps, was the best thing for him. The idea was daunting, frightening.

So yes, he understood Alcuin.

"Never worry about a place to live; my doors are always open to you. But... I understand it's daunting. You've been together very long."

"There is another world, though. Perhaps this new job will free you a bit more."