Aaron

[alcuin]

When Alcuin had gotten a second phone, aware now that Hannibal was using his to track his location, he'd given Aaron the number. And it was on that one that Aaron had texted him to check in on him, and suggested he come to tea.

Alcuin left his other phone in his room at the brothel, and quietly slipped out one evening, and went to the chapel. He felt anxious, still. Guilty. But he did feel better than the last time he'd been here.

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[quitollis]

Aaron was genuinely impressed. "Parlo un po' di italiano," Aaron said, thinking back to when he learned. "Ma male." Meaning he spoke a little Italian, but poorly. "Mostly religious texts and a little conversation."

[alcuin]

Alcuin's smile broadened. "So you can converse at the Vatican?" he teased in fairly well accented Italian. "And a bit of Latin as well?" he guessed.

[quitollis]

"It's where I trained," Aaron nodded. "Italian was what they spoke. And Latin, yes."

"I like your accent. Sounds... a lot more natural than mine." Honey to his ears, in fact.

[alcuin]

"My accent is even better in French," Alcuin said. "I took to it quickly enough that it's likely I already spoke it."

He smiled and then added in French, "A beautiful language. The language of love, they say."

[quitollis]

Amour. Love. That much he understood. "They're probably right," he said, somehow suddenly a little hoarse. Hearing that word from Alcuin's lips did something to him. He cleared his throat.

It struck him then.

He loved Alcuin.

[alcuin]

The feeling, the thought, was so strong, that Alcuin couldn't help but hear it.

A flicker of surprise crossed his face, and then a jumble of emotions swept through him. Guilt. Pleasure. Fear.

And he knew he probably shouldn't, but he couldn't help it, the words just tumbled out of his mouth: "You can't, I don't deserve it."

[quitollis]

"What?" Aaron asked, confused, before realising what it must have been. "You don't deserve it?"

Not, 'I don't feel that way', 'I don't want to lead you on', but a feeling of undeservedness?

[alcuin]

“I broke your heart,” Alcuin said quietly. “I’m not good for you - and you deserve to be happy.”

[quitollis]

"Well... that was before," Aaron said. "But you're not lying now. And... anyway, I can't help it. You do something to me."

[alcuin]

Alcuin fidgeted with the glass in his hands. “I don’t want to lie to you anymore,” he said. “So I won’t pretend I don’t… have feelings for you. That I don’t want you.” He swallowed. “Badly.”

[quitollis]

"You do?" Aaron asked, surprised. He hadn't expected that answer.

[alcuin]

Alcuin really should have been more careful with the wine. “Yes and it’s very upsetting!” he blurted.

[quitollis]

Aaron couldn't help it. The smile widened on his face. "I... I'm sorry." But he couldn't be.

He was feeling giddy. Must be the wine.

[alcuin]

Alcuin looked at him miserably, and then sighed. “I need you to recognize that you’re only doing this to yourself.”

And so was he.

And then he climbed onto Aaron’s lap and kissed him.

[quitollis]

Oh, he had certainly missed this. He kissed him back without thought, for a moment, just feeling.

"I know. And I know you're not... available, but... If you want this. I do too."

[alcuin]

The expression on Alcuin’s face was probably best described as anguished desire.

He was a terrible person.

“I’m going to hurt you,” he said breathlessly, and kissed him again. Kissing the breath away from him. Tangling his fingers in his hair. Moaning.

[quitollis]

It was so real. More real than ever before. "I don't care," Aaron said. He knew the possibility was there, but he truly didn't care. He kissed him instead, hungrily. "Bed?"

[alcuin]

“Bed,” Alcuin agreed breathlessly. “The beautiful bed you made.” He climbed off of him and began to pull off his clothes.

[quitollis]

"Where I want to lie with the beautiful man I've been dreaming about," Aaron said and joined in the undressing as they went to it.

[alcuin]

Alcuin hadn’t had sex in a couple of weeks and he was awfully eager.

And Aaron loved him. For him. He didn’t want anything of him. And he just wanted him to be himself.

“Tell me what you’ve been dreaming of,” he said softly as he fell back onto the bed in just his underwear.

[quitollis]

Aaron smiled and leaned over him, then kissed him, first on his mouth, then his neck. "Just you, and how good you feel." More kisses, neck and shoulder. "How soft, but strong. How lovely you smell..."

He kept trailing down and hooked his fingers in Alcuin's underwear. "And how you moan, real moans, as I go down on you."

[alcuin]

"They were always real," Alcuin whispered.

Which was mostly true.

[quitollis]

"I don't mind," Aaron said. "It's real now." He really hoped it was, as he wrapped his mouth around Alcuin's cock.

[alcuin]

"Oh, god..." Alcuin groaned as he tangled his fingers in the sheets at his sides to brace himself and keep his body from bucking.

[quitollis]

Surely that was real. Aaron smiled as he took him in further. He could tell Alcuin was eager, so he looked up, as if inviting him to fuck his mouth.