Aaron

[alcuin]

When Alcuin had gotten a second phone, aware now that Hannibal was using his to track his location, he'd given Aaron the number. And it was on that one that Aaron had texted him to check in on him, and suggested he come to tea.

Alcuin left his other phone in his room at the brothel, and quietly slipped out one evening, and went to the chapel. He felt anxious, still. Guilty. But he did feel better than the last time he'd been here.

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[alcuin]

"Oh," said Alcuin softly. "That was very kind of you."

[quitollis]

"I'll pick it up and finish it... if you'd like," Aaron said, somehow hopeful.

He refilled both their glasses again.

[alcuin]

"I would like that very much, yes," Alcuin said, and smiled sweetly at him. He was feeling a bit tipsy already, which perhaps was unwise, but it did feel nice to relax.

[quitollis]

God, he was beautiful. And Aaron had missed that smile. Though... it seemed a more smile genuine now? It looked more genuine to him than before, when Alcuin was spying on him. Like he meant it. God, he hoped he meant it.

"I will. It's always nice to... create something. What I do involves so much... death and misery. It's nice to just create something beautiful."

[alcuin]

Alcuin really was trying not to pry, but catching some of those thoughts from Aaron only made him smile more.

“That’s so nice,” he said. “I ah… I write poetry sometimes.”

[quitollis]

"Really?" Aaron said, genuinely curious. "Would you share some of it?"

[alcuin]

Alcuin looked a little embarrassed. “Oh I don’t think it’s very good,” he said. “Maybe sometime though… in the moment. When a line comes to my head.”

[quitollis]

"That's alright," Aaron assured him. "When the mood takes you. You like reading, don't you? Poetry?" he asked, to keep the conversation flowing and make things less uncomfortable.

Sometimes he felt like a bit of a brute compared to Alcuin. The young man was so refined and cultured. Aaron had an eagerness to learn, but he felt only good for one thing; fighting.

[alcuin]

"I do," Alcuin said, brightening a little. "I read everything I get my hands on. I've never been to school..." Pause. "Well, I probably have, but I don't remember. So I learned everything from books or occasionally private tutors. Piano lessons, fencing lessons, languages..."

[quitollis]

Aaron saw him brighten and lighten up and it was both infectious and good to see. He looked happy.

"What languages do you speak?" he asked, quite certain that it would be a list.

[alcuin]

"French, German, and Italian," Alcuin said. "And I'm learning Chinese." There was a hint of pride in his voice.

[quitollis]

Aaron was genuinely impressed. "Parlo un po' di italiano," Aaron said, thinking back to when he learned. "Ma male." Meaning he spoke a little Italian, but poorly. "Mostly religious texts and a little conversation."

[alcuin]

Alcuin's smile broadened. "So you can converse at the Vatican?" he teased in fairly well accented Italian. "And a bit of Latin as well?" he guessed.

[quitollis]

"It's where I trained," Aaron nodded. "Italian was what they spoke. And Latin, yes."

"I like your accent. Sounds... a lot more natural than mine." Honey to his ears, in fact.

[alcuin]

"My accent is even better in French," Alcuin said. "I took to it quickly enough that it's likely I already spoke it."

He smiled and then added in French, "A beautiful language. The language of love, they say."

[quitollis]

Amour. Love. That much he understood. "They're probably right," he said, somehow suddenly a little hoarse. Hearing that word from Alcuin's lips did something to him. He cleared his throat.

It struck him then.

He loved Alcuin.

[alcuin]

The feeling, the thought, was so strong, that Alcuin couldn't help but hear it.

A flicker of surprise crossed his face, and then a jumble of emotions swept through him. Guilt. Pleasure. Fear.

And he knew he probably shouldn't, but he couldn't help it, the words just tumbled out of his mouth: "You can't, I don't deserve it."

[quitollis]

"What?" Aaron asked, confused, before realising what it must have been. "You don't deserve it?"

Not, 'I don't feel that way', 'I don't want to lead you on', but a feeling of undeservedness?

[alcuin]

“I broke your heart,” Alcuin said quietly. “I’m not good for you - and you deserve to be happy.”

[quitollis]

"Well... that was before," Aaron said. "But you're not lying now. And... anyway, I can't help it. You do something to me."

[alcuin]

Alcuin fidgeted with the glass in his hands. “I don’t want to lie to you anymore,” he said. “So I won’t pretend I don’t… have feelings for you. That I don’t want you.” He swallowed. “Badly.”

[quitollis]

"You do?" Aaron asked, surprised. He hadn't expected that answer.

[alcuin]

Alcuin really should have been more careful with the wine. “Yes and it’s very upsetting!” he blurted.

[quitollis]

Aaron couldn't help it. The smile widened on his face. "I... I'm sorry." But he couldn't be.

He was feeling giddy. Must be the wine.

[alcuin]

Alcuin looked at him miserably, and then sighed. “I need you to recognize that you’re only doing this to yourself.”

And so was he.

And then he climbed onto Aaron’s lap and kissed him.