Aaron

[alcuin]

When Alcuin had gotten a second phone, aware now that Hannibal was using his to track his location, he'd given Aaron the number. And it was on that one that Aaron had texted him to check in on him, and suggested he come to tea.

Alcuin left his other phone in his room at the brothel, and quietly slipped out one evening, and went to the chapel. He felt anxious, still. Guilty. But he did feel better than the last time he'd been here.

Comments

[alcuin]

“I can hear your thoughts,” Alcuin said. Pause. “And your thoughts aren’t always… very direct, ok this topic. Besides.” His expression softened. “I’m making an effort not to pry.”

[quitollis]

Aaron smiled a bit. The effort was appreciated. He returned it with honesty.

"I... care for you. A lot. More than I should. And you're right to say I barely know you but... well, that wasn't changed what I feel."

[alcuin]

"I care for you, too," Alcuin confessed quietly. "Ah... Hannibal rightly deduced that I had a... soft spot for you, early on. He seemed to find it amusing."

[quitollis]

"I'm sure," Aaron had to concede. "In another life I might have... asked you out," Aaron admitted then.

[alcuin]

"In another life I'd have said yes," Alcuin said, looking down. In another life where he hadn't treated Aaron so horribly.

[quitollis]

Aaron nodded, understanding that Alcuin didn't want to risk his relationship with Lecter. "I would never try to stand between you and Lecter."

[alcuin]

Alcuin honestly wasn't even thinking about that part... "I don't think you have to," he said. "I seem to be doing a fine job standing in my own way."

[quitollis]

"How so?" Aaron asked, somewhat confused at what he meant.

[alcuin]

"Oh, I just mean... I don't think you need to worry about messing up my relationship with Hannibal, I'm messing it up well enough myself."

[quitollis]

"You're not messing it up by finding your own life," Aaron said. That shouldn't be the case, though, but Hannibal was very influential on Alcuin's life.

[alcuin]

Alcuin hesitated, and then then asked, "What do you think I should do?"

[quitollis]

"Distance yourself," Aaron said honestly. "Find out what life is without him. But... I'm biased."

[alcuin]

"I think I'm already distancing myself... a bit," Alcuin said. "Finding a new job. But beyond that, stepping away entirely would be blowing up my whole life - I wouldn't even have a place to live."

He looked down again. "And I have a lot of trouble imagining life without him."

[quitollis]

Aaron did see the parallels here. He did realize it was hypocritical to tell Alcuin to distance himself, when he himself could not distance himself from the Church, while that, perhaps, was the best thing for him. The idea was daunting, frightening.

So yes, he understood Alcuin.

"Never worry about a place to live; my doors are always open to you. But... I understand it's daunting. You've been together very long."

"There is another world, though. Perhaps this new job will free you a bit more."

[alcuin]

It was such a strange thing, to compare Hannibal to the Church, but Alcuin understood it.

"Perhaps... I wonder if we might talk about something else?" Alcuin suggested with a weak smile.

[quitollis]

"Sure," Aaron said with a little smile, then decided to start rather than let a silence fall.

"God, these sweets are good, aren't they? I'm not supposed to, of course, but when I have company I allow myself to indulge a bit. It's probably good that I don't have company that often."

[alcuin]

"Why aren't you supposed to?" Alcuin asked curiously. "Perhaps I don't know much about your beliefs, but surely sugar isn't a sin?"

[quitollis]

"Indulgence is a sin," Aaron provided. "But more practically, what I earn is supposed to go to the building of the chapel. Everything that isn't devoted to that, should be weighed carefully."

He smiled a bit. "I did say I was a shit priest. And I'm resigned to that. But it still... well, it feels wrong sometimes. Hard to disentangle myself from that. Anyway, these are too good to pass up on. Do you have a sweet-tooth?"

[alcuin]

"I do," Alcuin said. "I quite enjoy baking, actually..." And Hannibal enjoyed watching him enjoy food. "And wine. I'm really terribly indulgent."

[quitollis]

"You bake?" Aaron asked, curiously.

[alcuin]

"I do," Alcuin said. "And I cook... I'm quite good actually, I think."

[quitollis]

Aaron was genuinely pleased that he was getting to know Alcuin. "Well, I would love to taste it. I can't cook if my life depended on it. I mean, I can boil and I can fry, but... it's never been a priority."

[alcuin]

"I don't get to cook for other people really," Alcuin said, "so I'd enjoy that."

[quitollis]

"Excellent," Aaron said, smiling more broadly now. "I'll bring the wine."

[alcuin]

Well Alcuin most certainly couldn't invite Aaron to his own kitchen, but it was a nice fantasy. He smiled. "How about wine now? Or is it too early?"