Hannibal

[alcuin]

Alcuin had never done this before, and he realized that it might be a bad idea when one of the girls who worked at the brothel talked to him for a few minutes, then gave the person working the bar a Look and then went down the hallway in the direction of Hannibal's office. Where she informed him that Alcuin had been drinking gin martinis at a steady clip for the last hour.

... he really should have gone somewhere else. Or just gotten a bottle of gin and brought it to his room.

When he heard Hannibal's familiar footfalls behind him he said without looking, "I truly hope you're not here to scold me."

Comments

[anamusebouche]

"You are in control of your life now," Hannibal assured him. "The past should not consume you so."

[alcuin]

Alcuin didn't entirely feel that way. He rather felt like Hannibal was in control of him, at least... more than was making him comfortable these days.

"I don't know how to explain how it feels," he said. "But it's... hard, to not be constantly staring at that blank abyss."

[anamusebouche]

"I can't help you there, my love," Hannibal said. "You might try to find out what magic caused this - if that truly is what happened - but I wouldn't know where to start. And what good can come of it?"

[alcuin]

“Don’t you want to know why?” Alcuin asked incredulously.

[anamusebouche]

"To be perfectly honest, I have my reservations trusting your source - whom I don't know," Hannibal replied.

[alcuin]

"Well I don't know him either," Alcuin said. "But it's not like he can help me anymore anyway. You don't think this is true though? Doesn't it make sense? It seems far more likely that magic wiped literally my entire life away. If it was just some trauma response, I'd certainly get occasional flashes of memory. But not even anything in my dreams."

[anamusebouche]

"You meet a man, he says it's magic and you believe it because it seems like a more comforting answer than trauma," Hannibal replied.

[alcuin]

"It's a more logical answer than trauma," Alcuin said with a frown.

[anamusebouche]

"Fine, Alcuin, believe what you will, but I would rather not have you lamenting your past while drunk," Hannibal finally said, thus foregoing his promise of not scolding him.

[alcuin]

Alcuin, who had not taken a drink since Hannibal sat down, got to his feet. "Thanks, very helpful."

[anamusebouche]

"Sober up, my love," he said, gentle once more. "You have work tonight. The French attache is back." Gentle, but not asking. Demanding.

[alcuin]

Shock registered on Alcuin's face. And then hurt. He looked as if he'd been struck.

"Sorry," he said, mouth in a straight line, but his voice was wavering as if he was fighting to keep in emotion. "I guess I'm useless to you tonight. I hope you don't have to fuck him yourself."

And then he turned and moved quickly out of the brothel to the street, his heart pounding.

[anamusebouche]

Hannibal considered for a moment going after him, grabbing him forcefully and making him stay. All these new developments were harming their relationship. And were harming Alcuin's use to him.

He didn't go after Alcuin, though. The young man was right; he was useless to him like this. Perhaps a night in the cold air would set him straight again.

[alcuin]

The fact that Alcuin was still quite drunk was definitely not helping, and by the time he’d walked an aimless couple of blocks he was on the verge of tears.

Eventually he just collapsed down onto a curb, his head in his hands. Realizing that he had nowhere to go. And not realizing that he’d walked in the general direction of Aaron’s chapel.

[quitollis]

Aaron was walking home with a bag of groceries when he spotted someone on the curb, who seemed to be crying. He stopped. "Are you alright?" he asked before kneeling down and only then realizing who it was. "Alcuin?"

Despite his feelings towards the young man, the fact he was crying still concerned him. He wasn't heartless, not even to someone who'd betrayed him so.

[alcuin]

When Alcuin looked up, his eyes were wet, and he was obviously startled seeing Aaron - and then distressed. It was the worst possible reminder at that moment. Of the terrible thing Alcuin had done to him. He wasn’t a good person. Maybe he deserved what he was feeling right now…

Alcuin dropped his head again and let out a choked sound, clearly trying to keep himself from sobbing.

[quitollis]

But Aaron wasn't thinking about that right now. This was a person in distress. There was no way he would walk on without helping.

"Will you come with me? I'll make you a cup of tea. No need to stay on the sidewalk..."

[alcuin]

Alcuin looked back up at him in disbelief. “Why?” he choked out. “You shouldn’t trust me. I could be manipulating you. This is exactly like something I would do…”

[quitollis]

Aaron truly didn't believe that. "I'll take my chances," he said and offered a hand to help Alcuin up.

[alcuin]

Alcuin stared at him for a couple of seconds, and then took his hand and allowed Aaron to pull him up. "You're very kind," he said quietly. Sounding deeply embarrassed.

[quitollis]

"It's just a cup of tea," Aaron said. "Come on." And together they walked to the chapel.

[alcuin]

Alcuin didn't say a word as they walked, just tried to pull himself together. Which was a challenge because he was still quite drunk. Which also made it more of a challenge to even think about what he might possibly tell Aaron about why he'd been crying. He was struggling to come up with a good lie.

[quitollis]

Aaron did note a little unsteadiness. "Have you been drinking?" He asked gently.

[alcuin]

There was no use lying. "Yes," Alcuin mumbled. "Are you going to scold me, too?"

[quitollis]

"No, I was just wondering," Aaron replied. "We're you scolded?"