Aaron

[alcuin]

It didn't actually take as long as Alcuin thought it might, to search Hannibal's office and find... exactly the kind of thing that he'd feared he would find. He almost took it with it. It should be in his care. But he knew that would be stupid. So he took photos, and then carefully closed up and left. Even though he knew that Kersen was keeping Hannibal occupied this evening, he didn't want to press his luck by taking any more time than he needed.

He went straight to Aaron's.

When Aaron opened the door, Alcuin just sighed, looking sad, as he went inside.

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[alcuin]

Alcuin really wasn't sure why he was doing this now, but it slid into his head with a small sliver of guilt, and he ended up blurting it out. "Kersen and I slept together a few days ago. It just kind of, um. Happened."

He'd wanted to talk to the vampire first about his plan, and make sure he really was okay with the part of it where he distracted Hannibal. And Alcuin had also talked to him about his complicated feelings for Aaron, and how much he worried he was just going to hurt him - he hadn't had anyone to talk to, really. They'd ended up talking for hours in that basement flat under Kersen's bar. He couldn't even remember now exactly how it gone from talking to him in the vampire's lap begging breathlessly to be bitten.

[quitollis]

Perhaps Aaron wouldn't have been quite so taken aback by this confession if it hadn't followed the words 'if you want me to be there'.

"... why are you telling me this now?"

Conflicting thoughts went through his head. Did Alcuin still not want him there? Was there no hope for them? (And how selfish of him to think about Alcuin in that way while he was mourning love lost.) But also... what a mental image that gave. How he would have loved being there to see it, or be part of it.

[alcuin]

Alcuin looked down. "I just, um, I thought I should tell you. I didn't want you to think I was keeping it from you."

[quitollis]

"Do you want to... talk about it?" He asked, then, still unsure about what he thought of it.

[alcuin]

Alcuin looked surprised. "About... sex with Kersen?" Pause. "Do you want to hear about it?"

[quitollis]

Aaron considered that question and answered honestly. "Depends on the answer, I think. But I figured you didn't just say if for no reason. And... I just want to be helpful to you, even if I can't be... anything else."

[alcuin]

"I want to be clear," Alcuin said quietly, after a brief hesitation. "I like him. But what I feel for you is... more."

[quitollis]

"That... is a relief," Aaron admitted. He felt it very much so. "Not that you don't feel it for Kersen, but... that you do for me. But, I mean I don't blame you. Or Kersen. I understand the appeal very well."

[alcuin]

Alcuin thought that he... could, actually. Feel more for Kersen. But there was nothing to be gained by telling Aaron that. And he truly meant it, that what he felt for Aaron was something else entirely.

"Have you thought more on your feelings for him?" Alcuin asked gently.

[quitollis]

"... I have," Aaron said. "Is it odd that I was happiest when the three of us were in bed?" He asked. "Maybe I'm just scared to make a choice."

[alcuin]

Alcuin tilted his head thoughtfully. "If that's the case then you should be happy that Kersen and I are connecting."

[quitollis]

Aaron didn't know what to say. He wasn't aware this was a possibility. "Would you...?"

[alcuin]

"It's not as if it's unheard of," Alcuin said. "A relationship like that."

Pause. "If that's what you meant. Or perhaps you were simply asking if we could all tumble into bed for a night again."

[quitollis]

"No," Aaron said. "I mean, yes, that too. But... I love you and... I love him. Differently, but... real."

[alcuin]

Alcuin nodded, and then looked down at his hands. “I never thought I’d be able to love anyone but him. It was too… all encompassing.”

[quitollis]

Aaron looked at him and put a hand on his back in comfort. "I think that was by design."

[alcuin]

Alcuin swallowed hard and looked at him for a long moment. Then he said, “But I do love you - “ and kissed him.

[quitollis]

"I don't fault you for your feelings for him, and you shouldn't blame yourself," Aaron said when the kiss broke. He felt guilty for the joy in his heart to hear those words from Alcuin.

[alcuin]

Alcuin looked at him for a moment and then said gently, "I just told you I loved you. That wasn't about him."

[quitollis]

Aaron then did smile. "Sorry. I feel bad for how happy that makes me. But... it does. Very much."

[alcuin]

“I think… I’d be very offended if it didn’t,” Alcuin said.

[quitollis]

Aaron's smile got more comfortable on his face. "I love you too."

[alcuin]

Alcuin hesitated, and then wrapped his arms around Aaron’s neck. “I don’t think any of this would have happened were it not for you,” he said softly against his neck. “I could have hated you for that I suppose but I love you instead.”

[quitollis]

"I've always feared that, I think," Aaron admitted. "But that's never stopped me feeling it." He kissed him softly.

[alcuin]

Alcuin carefully pulled away. “You should contact Kersen,” he said. “I don’t want him to think he has to keep Hannibal occupied all night.”